THE SMALL PRINT (Here's a new Bodog requirement) - "You must not have a criminal record or pending criminal charges that may interfere with your ability to travel freely around the world or otherwise restrict bands ability to work in the entertainment industry." (Pretty good coming from a guy that can't enter the US without being arrested!) . |
This is the owner of Bodog.com. He's about the exact opposite of Big Time Entertainment's CEOs. He's Calvin Ayre and his photo is plastered all over his websites. He's got so many photos of himself that you sort of forget what the hell his website is all about. You are lulled into a haze of glossy Calvin Ayre photos. What?...pay-to-play?...huh?...that Calvin is soooo "dreamy". There are photos of Calvin Ayre posing with celebs, photos of him with skanky "Girls Gone Wild-style" chicks, in exotic settings, on the beach, at Bodog conventions. He even provides high-rez photos so you can have them for your scrapbook. This site is a total lovefest to himself. BUT HERE'S THE REAL STATS: Calvin Ayre is a Canadian who owns and operates Bodog Entertainment Group. This is the biggest on-line gaming enterprise in the world. On-line gambling is illegal in the US. That’s why Calvin Ayre lives in a $3.5 million compound in Costa Rica. He runs all his money through the National Bank of Scotland in London. None of his transactions take place within an American financial institution so the Feds can’t touch him. He doesn’t pay a dime in personal taxes, even though most of his 16 million customers live in the US. Last year Bodog.com turned over about $7.3 billion (yes, that’s BILLION) in wagers and gaming. Calvin Ayre also runs Bodog Poker, Bodog Fantasy, Bodog Girls, Bodog Sports, and Bodog Nation. (This info was obtained from Forbes Magazine.) Apparently gambling profits aren't enough, so Bodog is hosting a national Battle of The Bands where 10 bands per night (yikes!) sign up to "battle" each other by selling the most tickets. (Also some playing is involved but with 10 bands on a bill, that doesn't seem to be the main focus.) The percentage of winning anything is about as high as winning the lottery. Actually the lottery would better serve your band. And don't think that Calvin will be seeing your band in the last rounds. He can't enter the U.S. ORIGINAL POST ABOUT BODOG BATTLE OF THE BANDS NEW! BODOG UPDATE: THE RULES HAVE CHANGED! NEW! WATCH THE BODOG BOTB REALITY SHOW WOW! |
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OUR FIRST POST ABOUT BODOG BATTLE OF THE BANDS (Below is the first time we took a look at this scam): UPDATE: THEY'VE SLIGHTLY CHANGED THE MILITARY SCHTICK. I guess "Rock Boot Camp" didn't work out so well so they've changed a few of the titles, but it's still got the military feel to it. You don't "enlist" like you used to, but you still "Earn Your Stripes". Plus now there are TEN steps instead of 6. It's all more confusing than ever and seems to promote more ticket selling rounds. Ten-hut! The Pay-to-Play scam also works on a national level. Check out this national Battle of the Bands "Contest" (pay-to-play scam). So it works like this. You and all your friends in bands join the giant battle and eventually you win ONE MILLION DOLLARS (spoken like Dr. Evil - and of course, it's not really a million, it's a million dollar CONTRACT). Well, youre not going to win. Youre going to lose, but not before you spend a whole bunch of time and trouble selling expensive tickets to your family and friends. So here's my beef with this one. First, check out their website, then I'll start the ranting: http://www.bodogbattle.com/howtobattle/ SIX REASONS TO AVOID BODOG REASON #1 / MILITARY SCHTICK: What is it with the Rambo/Apocalypse Now/Military motif? Does this artwork really spell "rock"? You don't sign up, you ENLIST. "BAND WARFARE": Damn people, do we really need to fight about everything!? And if you really are forced to go to "Rock Boot Camp" shouldnt it be with a certified drill instructor like Ted Nugent, rather than the numbnuts who dreamed this up? Actually if this kind of thing really appeals to you, maybe you should drop the music and just ENLIST in the real army instead. REASON #2 / PYRAMID SCHEME: Its a proven fact that pyramid schemes dont work for anybody other than the guy at the very top (and its never going to be YOU). They need tons of bands on the bottom rung to support the bands moving up. In a perfect Bodog World they really would like every band in the United States to sign up for this thing. Then this "contest" would really work great! Do you really think you are going to win the big prize against odds like this? Hell, youd have a better chance at winning that million on a TV game show. If you think you have a chance at this contest there are some guys in Vegas who would love to meet you. REASON #3 / PAY-TO-PLAY: And of course, HERE WE GO. Bodogs Step 6, "Show-Up/Show-Down" is where you will be manipulated into the Pay-to-Play scam. Sell tickets to family and friends. Be the Bodog Corporations bitch. "Get in a band, and shovel it for the Man." How "punk" can you get? But heres the most important statement: It used to read: "When you make it to boot camp the power of your following comes into play. Your friends, family, and fans will join you by buying tickets to the event you could be playing. There are 10 other bands per show in BOOT CAMP, youve got to do a little more than out play them, youve got to out promote them." Now
emphasize the ticket thing even more! Listen up and sell those tickets. The winner will be the BEST SALESMEN, not the best band. If this still appeals to you, I think AMWAY has a similar plan you might want to take a crack at. REASON #4 / TIME WASTING: We hope every band has 20 years together, but lets face it, the normal life of a band might only last a few years. Dont waste all your good intentions trying to "win" contests (unless its 60s style one-show, non-ticket selling kind where the losers have to shave their heads). This scam wastes the precious time your band has. Writing great songs, practicing, recording, playing real shows, meeting other bands, having fun...thats the role of a band. REASON #5 / STARDOM: No contest leads to stardom (unless your name is Kelly Clarkson or Clay Aiken). Think of your favorite bands, the ones that influenced you, the ones that you listened to when nothing else mattered, the ones that made YOU want to be in a band. How many of them got famous by winning big national contests? NONE. Winning contests is not the answer, especially when youve got to sell a bunch of tickets to do it. REASON #6 / CALVIN AYRE: Here is a photo of the creator/owner/head honcho of Bodog. I thought youd like to actually see "The Man" youll be shoveling it for! Does this really look like the guy you want to trust with your bands future? Do you really want to be associated with this guy? Why this guy just screams "anarchy"! Calvin Ayre is a corporate business tycoon who also owns/operates Bodog Sports (on-line betting), Bodog Poker, Bodog Girls, Bodog Nation...Be afraid, be very afraid...
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Remember that old Twilight Zone episode where the aliens come down to earth to help humans? They bring a book called "To Serve Man": and the humans are convinced that the aliens are really trying to do something good for them. Of course, as the hero boards the spaceship for a visit to the alien planet, his assistant runs to tell him too late what she's discovered after decoding the book. "To Serve Man...It's a cookbook!" Something like that has happened to the Bodog Battle of the Bands contest that we have recently discovered... "The Bodog Battle of the Bands... So all these bands (over 7,000 of them!) have worked their butts off to sell tickets to their family and friends. They've battled on to each round. They've played on 10 band bills. They've promoted themselves through all the Bodog militaristic steps. They turned over hundreds of dollars to Bodog. Why? So they'll finally be able to "outplay" the last few bands and win a "million dollar" contract with Bodog Music (at least that's how the old website read). NOT SO FAST BOTBers! Things have changed. The official Bodog contract has mysteriously changed. Bodog has confirmed what The Battle To End All Battles has turned into, and this is from their official press release: "Since January 23, the 16 who remain have taken the competition on the road, starting with a stop at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. The final elimination tour and shooting of the Bodog Battle reality show is now under way. The bands will face a variety of ordeals and battles to decide which one is the best unsigned band in America and who wins the coveted million-dollar contract. All this is happening on the eve of the 9-part Bodog Battle reality series being unleashed on Fuse TV featuring coverage of the final stages of competition for our year one bands." That's right suckers. All that ticket selling and winning rounds of crappy gigs has enabled 16 bands to compete in the Bodog version of that VH1 dud reality rock show "Bands on the Run". Remember that stinkeroo? The 2001 show where Harlow, Soulcracker, the Josh Dodes Band and Flickerstick were pitted against each other to see who could sell the most T-shirts on the road or put on a show that day with no money? Apparently only Flickerstick is still playing today (see Boston Herald article below). Bands on the Run was so "popular" VH1 only shot one season. Hell, that gawd-awful Victoria Gotti show got more than one season! Did all those 7,000 competing bands realize that at the end they would be put put through a series of "defeats, vicotries and personal triumphs" for another boring reality show that everybody can make fun of? In addition, the new contract has a couple of clauses you might find interesting, especially this one: "The Sponsor's decision (which may or may not coincide with the decision of Judges and/or the voting public, as recorded by the voting service provider) in the elimination of any of the bands and in the awarding of any prizes to the bands, including the Grand Prize is final and binding." In other words, it doesn't matter how well you play, how you get through those trials and tribulations on the road, how many people like you, or even what the judges say. They've already picked a winner and it's obviously not you, and now it's in writing. The final sentence on the contract isn't very reassuring either: RULES, ELIGIBILITY AND DATES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT NOTICE BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! So besides the "Bands on the Run" schtick, Bodog needed a panel of expert judges to do what...award points? Well, it's obvious they want to combine the fun of a reality show with the popularity of American Idol. They've found their slutty Paula Adul in who they are calling the Canadian Superstar (and man, that's stretching it - it should be just "Canadian"), Bif Naked. Yeah, her career was huge! But who can they get to play the part of the rock version of Simon Cowell? He's gotta be British, he's gotta be snotty, he's gotta formerly have a little street cred, he's gotta be controversial...who could fill that bill? Why, it's none other than everybody's favorite Anarchy in the UK guy himself, JOHNNY ROTTEN. If his credibility was in jeapordy before this, it ought to be totally shot by the time Bodog gets through with him. From Punk Rocker Numero Uno to a 3rd rate Simon Cowell on a 4th rate reality show. He once claimed to kill rock and roll. If he didn't then, this should do the trick.
"Bodog Music's $1 Million Battle is pleased to announce that the legendary Sex Pistol John Lydon (a.k.a. Johnny Rotten) has signed on to be a judge for the show that is currently shooting across the United States and will run on a top cable network later in the year." ----------------------------------------- |
Get on the Bodog Battle of the Bands MYSPACE SITE and have Bif Naked tell you all about it. DAMN, THE BIF NAKED VIDEO IS GONE. SORRY, IT WAS REALLY GREAT! Yes, it's that evil opposite of Gwen Stefani, Bif Naked, who had some sort of hit a few years ago on MTV. Nobody's heard from her since...until now. So what if her career is in the toilet? She's going to tell you how it all breaks down in the most hilarious video since SCTV was on the air. Is that a speech problem she's having or is she drunk? Notice how she really does claim you'll get a million dollars and not just a Bodog Contract? And of course, just like the website, the focus is really on hunky Calvin Ayre and all his wealth and skanky chicks. Battle of the Bands or Girls Gone Wild? It's hard to tell, especially at the end of the video where it's a flash of butts, Calvin on his yacht and expensive shops in Beverly Hills where he appears to be buying watches. By the way, Bif claims she's a Bodog Recording Artist. The obvious question is: Why doesn't Calvin Ayre just spend that million to help her out? Seems like she's the one that really needs it. |
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